My Home Birth Story ‣ Megan Hallman | Motherhood & Manifesting

On December 31, 2018, just before 5 am, I gave birth to my beautiful 7lb 10oz daughter Evangeline, in the comfort of my bedroom. This is my beautiful home birth story.

Positive home birth story, natural child birth. #naturalbirth #homebirth #positivebirth #fearlesschildbirth #hypnobirthing #birthpreparation

For weeks and months, I had been preparing myself and my home for a home birth, despite a lot of resistance and concern from friends and family. It was important to my husband and I that we were educated on all of our choices. This was not something that we just decided without careful thought and consideration. There are pros and cons to having a hospital birth vs. home birth, and I understand that giving birth at home is not for everyone. I believe that no matter where a woman decides to give birth, her decision should be respected, and supported.

If you have had a healthy pregnancy, and are considering a home birth for yourself, I hope my birth story and others will provide you with the encouragement and empowerment to help support you in making your decision. Please remember, you can plan a home birth, but it’s important to practice non-attachment to any birth plan you create for yourself. What matters most is that you and your baby are SAFE.

On the morning of December 30th, after spending some time the night before journaling, reflecting, and releasing some of the fears that might have been causing tension and tightness in my body, I lost my mucus plug and the latent phase of labor began. For a few days, I had been feeling light cramping throughout the night and was always waiting for “something” to happen. I was so excited! The midwives told me how important it was for me to rest during this stage. I tried to go back to sleep for a bit, but I couldn’t. I tossed and turned until maybe 7 am.

It was the weekend so my husband was home with me already, and although we were already VERY prepared, we went through any “last minute” items on our list. We went grocery shopping and did extra cleaning of our house. The contractions were very mild at this point, like period cramps, and all over the place with no pattern. I knew this phase could last quite some time so we tried to distract ourselves.

We went for a walk. I bounced on my ball. We watched the Office, and I danced around like a crazy lady to help labour progress. I ate high protein and carb-rich foods, drank electrolytes, and took a nap. I wanted to make sure my body was hydrated, energized and “somewhat rested” for the big event. I was like a kid on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to arrive… it was hard to get real sleep. Or at least I thought it was hard until I actually had my daughter, and now I know how hard getting sleep is!

The day was really easy. If I hadn’t learned about the stages of labour in a birthing class, I wouldn’t have considered it being “in labour”. Most women will be able to continue working through this stage. My contractions started getting stronger later into the afternoon. They still felt like bad period cramps, but a pattern was starting to emerge, and I could feel the onset and offset more clearly. They would start slowly, peak, and then taper off.

In the evening my husband and I needed another distraction and decided to go pick up some dinner. On our way home, someone cut off my husband as we were getting on the highway, and as soon as he put on the breaks a strong contraction started. That was the first contraction that had been painful enough for me to realize this was really happening!

I was still in a good mood, happily bouncing away on my ball while we ate dinner. After dinner, we started watching a movie while recording my contractions. I remember getting to a point that I could no longer watch the movie and needed to focus on the contractions. I was very grateful that at this time I could move upstairs to my bedroom to get cozy in bed. We had the lights dimmed, essential oils and candles burning in our bedroom.

We were given the 4-1-1 rule by our midwives. To call when the contractions were 4 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour. We called our midwife around midnight after the contractions were around 3-4 minutes apart. Some of them were only 2 minutes apart, and one of them was 7 minutes apart. I remember telling my husband we shouldn’t call because of that one gap in the contractions. He called anyways. The midwife asked to speak with me and told me that unless I was “screaming and crying” I wasn’t in active labour. Still, she said would come out and check me anyways, then go home. The lack of support and encouragement felt disappointing, but I felt a voice inside reminding me that the empowerment had to come from within me.

I started listening to the birthing affirmations I created and got myself centered. When she showed up, she checked me and said that I was 5cm dilated. She would be staying because this baby was coming. I was feeling so many emotions at this point; relief, fear, excitement. I made sure to acknowledge and feel them all. I knew it was okay to feel afraid of the unknown and reminded myself that “I was created to do this. Everything is happening just as it should.”

I was very uncomfortable at this point, and it helped to move between my bathroom and my bedroom. Taking a shower, getting in the bath, using a heating pad, and changing positions all helped with the pain.

My husband held my hands during my contractions. I remember at one point he was trying to rub my back during a contraction and I said something like “please don’t touch my back”. The midwife was shocked at how polite I was to him, even during active labour. I felt compassion for him, because I knew he felt helpless watching me go through this, and wanted to help in whatever way he could, but wasn’t sure how.

He didn’t know, because I couldn’t tell him at the time. But he was the most amazing and supportive birth partner you could ask for. He gave me all the words of encouragement I needed. At one point, when he could see how exhausted I was. He ran into the nursery and grabbed a little polka-dot onesie with a hood and ears on it. He was holding it up for me to see and said “She’s going to be here! She’s going to wear this little outfit! We’re going to hold her, and snuggle her, and love her so much! You can do it! She’s coming!”

The contractions were so strong, and it felt like I only had a breather between them. I figured this meant I was in the transition stage, the shortest, but most painful part of labour. At this time I was in the bathtub holding up my whole body with my arms through every contraction but didn’t feel a thing in my arms until the next day. I was starting to feel my body naturally wanting to push, and the midwife said she needed to check me again. This was the first time that I felt real fear in the process.

At no point did I feel like I couldn’t do it, but I was terrified for her to check me because if she told me I wasn’t fully dilated yet, I might have given up. If she told me I wasn’t fully dilated, I might have told them I have to go to the hospital and get this baby cut out of me. The midwife checked me, and to my relief I was fully dilated.

To be honest, I had no concept of time, so I could not tell you how long I pushed for. Compared to the rest of the time the midwives were at my house, it didn’t feel very long. I felt weak at this stage and had wished I had slept longer the morning before, but knew it was almost over. I was going to meet my daughter. Originally my husband and I agreed that he wasn’t going to “look down there” but during the experience, our feelings changed. He told me he could see her head, and to keep pushing. I felt like he was the one delivering the baby, it felt like no one else was there.

When her head was out I felt a huge relief, but her shoulder was stuck, and the midwife had to use her hand to pull her out; causing a tear. It was quick, but this was the most painful part of the pushing stage. Within a matter of seconds, the rest of her came out. At 4:49 am, my daughter Evangeline was laying on my chest. She started to cry, my husband was crying, and I was crying too. I remember thinking it was so strange that I couldn’t feel any tears coming out of my eyes. I think my body was just so exhausted.

The placenta didn’t come out right away, so they gave me a Pitocin shot to prevent postpartum hemorrhage. I had no medication during the actual birth, but when it came to stitching up the tear, I was happy to take the laughing gas. I got showered, and felt so weak and dizzy that I was shocked they let me get in the shower alone.

When I got out of the shower, I put on my pajamas, a big cozy sweater and crawled into bed with my husband and new baby. It was around 7 am when the midwives left, and I had now been awake since 5 am the previous day. I seriously wished I had slept some more. It was a strange feeling to have this baby in my arms who had been inside of me only a few hours ago. She was real, she was here, and this was the start of our new life.

I felt overwhelmed with love and fear all at the same time.

There are pros and cons to a home birth. The pro was that we felt as comfortable as possible, we didn’t have to go anywhere at any stage during delivery, and both liked the idea of our daughter entering the world in a loving positive environment. The downside was that because we were never at the hospital, the shock of new motherhood hit me instantly. We had a baby that didn’t know how to latch. I didn’t know how to tell if she was getting milk, and we didn’t have anyone with us for support. We were on our own.

I had considered hiring a doula, and looking back I wish I had. If you are considering a home birth, I encourage you to look into hiring a birthing or postpartum doula. They can help to advocate for you during birth and will ensure you have the follow-up support and care you need to rest right after delivery.

My husband and I spent most of the first day in bed with our daughter. We took turns holding her and slept in little shifts throughout the day. We had a bottle of champagne in the fridge we had planned to pop when she was born. That evening, on New Year’s Eve, while the ball dropped at Times Square on TV, we clinked our glasses together to celebrate the birth of our healthy baby girl. To the start of our family and new life as parents, and to the start of a brand new year.

This empowered birthing experience laid the foundation for the strength I was yet to discover as I overcame the challenges women face as new mothers. My home birth was only just the beginning of my empowered motherhood journey.

xoxo,
Megan

– Request Guidance & Healing–